Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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