I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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