I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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