1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
