He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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