Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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