have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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