me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
