When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
