Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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