No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize