Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
