Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
