i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
