Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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