But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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