He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
