I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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