HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
