Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
