so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think my mom watched the whole time
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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