Those balls look pretty dangerous.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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