When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
