I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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