im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
