so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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