apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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