PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
