You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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