were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just blew my weed a kiss
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
