I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
