can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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