Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
