Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
