Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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