i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
