He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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