Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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