So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
