Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
