tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
