just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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