this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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