8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
