I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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