this will be a night to untag.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
