She said her name was "party"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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