There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
