Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So many bounce houses so little time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sobbing to NWA
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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