yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
