taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
