meet me or not, i'm out of control
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
