guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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