It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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