I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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