no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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