Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
