she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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