im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
