Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
